I read a piece this week about youth travel sports. The number in it was eight thousand dollars a year, for an eleven year old.

Eight thousand dollars. For a kid who has not finished sixth grade.

I agreed with all of it. Then I sat with the part underneath it, which is harder to say out loud.

We are making idols of our kids.

That word gets thrown around, so let me be plain about what I mean by it. An idol is not a statue. An idol is whatever you organize your life around and sacrifice to. Look at what a family gives up for a travel schedule, and then tell me what else to call it. The weekends go. Sunday mornings go. Dinner at a table with everybody at it goes. The savings go. The marriage gets whatever is left over, and by then there is not much left over.

Nobody sets out to do this. No father signs an eight thousand dollar check thinking he is bowing down to something. He thinks he is loving his kid, and he is. That is exactly what makes it so hard to see. The best idols are always built out of good things.

Jesus said it in one line, and he said it about money on purpose:

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.Matthew 6:21

Notice the order. He does not say your heart drags your treasure along behind it. He says it runs the other way — put the treasure somewhere and the heart follows it there. Which means a man can find out what he actually worships by opening his bank statement, whatever he believes about himself on a Sunday.

Whose dream is on the field

If your son walked in tomorrow and told you he was done, would you feel relief for him, or would you grieve something of your own?

Sit with whichever one comes first. That answer tells you who the season actually belongs to.

Keep your kid on the team if the team is good for him. Some of them are. A boy learning to lose in front of other people, to be coached, to keep a commitment when his body hurts, is a boy being formed. That is worth money and worth Saturdays.

Just know what you are buying, and know what you are spending. Both are larger than the check.

The Challenge

Add up what your family spent last year on one child and one sport. Fees, hotels, gas, tournaments, the meals out on the road.

Then add up the Sundays.

Put both numbers in front of your wife and ask her what she sees. She has been keeping that ledger already, whether or not anybody asked her for it.

If you already know you would rather not run that math, you have your answer.

Brian